on second thought, dont save me (special guest tony)

before the height of superhero movies like x-men and spiderman, comic book companies were testing the waters on making hero flicks to put on the big screen. a lot of them ended up as duds that went direct to video and a few never saw the light of day. here are some of the worst that define explanation...




Masters of the universe
if you think this is an eyesore, wait till you see this

this was dolph lundgrens era. he finished rocky, then did masters of the universe

he man and his gang, skeletor and his band of misfits arrive to earth to kick non medieval ass, its scifi at its worst, with lazer shooting, weak swordplay and a smartass skeletor, all of this and he man has less than 10 lines throughout the film.

here he fights by himself, because no one pack swords, but lazer guns and staffs, jesus....

on the left, cool looking futuristic soldiers, and on the right, wtf????

seriously, in the future, past whatever, they cant invent clippers?

last time i heard, they toured unsuccessfully, ahh well theres always nirvana.




a few years later,

doogan! well, here he is again, but as the punisher, prepare to be punished, mentally.

err wait, this isnt the....
waitamminit....
wtf?? how many punish....

aaaargh!!!!

ahh here we are, anyways, he kills his way across creation, because he feels like killing mobsters and the criminal element blah blah bleh bleeeh zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
the first punisher was the best movie period, the punisher album, well hands down beats them all.


you know i had to...

if you dont know what vomit taste like, rent this now...


costume, check. shield, check. rubber ears, check!


the funny thing is he fails his first mission then returns years later to right the wrong and fight the infamous red skull. i dont know if its meant to be a comedy, but the action is almost nonexistant, and the stunts are well, macguyverish. its a awfully made tv movie, period!

is this even the same dude, he looks like grandpa munster, man...


if you see this, you know its gonna be trouble
its the great roger cormans, fantastic four! isnt it fantastic?

you have to see this to believe it, its that bad, the thing barely made it as at least good, the cgi for the human torch is super nintendo graphics or atari jaguar, flip a coin, its still shit. the camera work its filled with camera trick angles zoom ins and outs like those old school kung fu films and very dull dialog. like i said, its that bad.
since my feet dont work, ill use my fists instead! sock! pow!
its always great to see curtis jackson getting some work...

well, they fight doom here and there and do their superhero thing, but wait till the wedding in the films finale, heres a sneak peek, bleeeerff!


and finally

heres two of the most non italians in a film based on two italians, its like vanilla ice trying to be well, you know
this movie is so confusing, shouldn't it be a hard game and easy movie instead of the other way around, this movies the worst of the worst.... and they dont even school the turtles mario style, or pull out huge clown hammers or nuthin, what a gyp! no power ups, star, mushrooms...coins....unlimited life............

Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold (special guest tony)

Revenge, Isn't it great. To me, This genre of film kicks ass and definitely has profound meanings, And that if it were you, Would you do the same thing? tThese are some movies which in my opinion are super cool revenge films.




Great film, Great soundtrack. This movie is about a couple who both get killed, Then he returns from the grave to seek revenge so he can finally have closure.



I love this film because i met the creator of the book at planet Hollywood during the crow screening, He was a great guy, Collective and definitely saddened because Brandon lee died during filming. Just see this one and skip all the sequels, period.




This film is about two guys who are dispatched to hunt the mysterious beast that's killing the townsfolk.




Then they finally trap the beast but it still gets away only to reveal corruption, Politics and vengeance when one of the hunters gets murdered.Plus theres great fight scenes and awesome costumes and a great script makes this a must watch film.




A little less than the comic, but damn close. It's based on a character named "v" who starts extracting revenge on a corrupt government and personal issues. Then he kidnaps a woman so she can witness it all, Little does she know shes slowly being molded into becoming him. highly recommendedIf its for sale, i want one:)




It's about an assassin who defects to get married, then gets her wedding shot up leaving her in a coma. She reemerges from it with only one thing on her mind, To kill em all.




Tons of fighting, Swordplay and action makes this film highly enjoyable, It even spawned a sequel. But watch the japanese release of this dvd, It's totally uncut and in full glorious color!





Guys ritchie's best movie hands down, Great cast, Great twist and turns when everyone in the film gets involved one way or another after a diamond heist. Then it all gets serious when this happens..Mikey's mom gets burned alive in a van because he didnt want to take a dive in a fight, Then it becomes all about, revenge




Great film, It was recommended to me by my brother and i watched it not expecting anything great, I was wrong.
This is a great film that's even better with repeated viewings. It's about a guy who goes into a type of "medieval times" camp gathering to retrieve his girlfriend who decided to put the relationship on the backburner for awhile. There he sees his brother who is playing the character "Thor" who disappears for weeks at a time to play at the medieval camp. Between the relationship with his brother and girlfriend both at edge, he decides to stay and try to fix both relationships. Then the role playing fantasy all becomes all too real when some of the players take the viking shit all to seriouslyThe boyfriend decides to play the role to win her back...then the fun kicks and laughs turns 360 into hell.




John creasy is a guy whos a bodyguard in mexico, When a girl he was protecting gets kidnapped, He stops at nothing to get her backAnd torture and maim anyone bad guy he runs into.





Well, This one is about a group of geeks and outcasts who decided to start their own frat house in order to try to be accepted in the preppy/jock world
This is a very funny 80s comedy i saw when i was a teenager and i loved it then and still love it now

The way of the dinosaur or Internet takeover 101

It's hard to believe but there were places out there that are long gone and will definitely never return, Can you estimate how many times you've actually stumbled onto one of these places?





Ah the video store, Many of moments I've spent renting or buying everything under the sun, Now with the power of the internet all is available at your fingertips. Ain't life grand?





Oh, how I used to love cd hunting, I was fortunate enough to stay away from giant box retailers who would charge an arm and a leg for the latest release by Sting. Now with the power of the internet.... You can...umm...yeah..





Yep there was a time when we would spend the entire day outside hanging out at the local arcade. you know, hanging out, making friends, spending quarters till no end, Now with the power of the internet, You can... umm.. meet people online and stuff and umm... Yeah.. The internet.

Meeting again for the first time

The short version of this story, When I was about 6 years old I bought this record, listened to it till no end and completely erased it from memory. 34 years later it appeared in a milk crate full of records at my parents house about to be discarted. I don't know how I never seen it around or how it was preserved for so long but damn, it opened up memories from my childhood instantly. You're safe now, my only keepsake from childhood.