Wednesday, January 20, 2010

It's 2010 and it's already time for the chop!

Wow, the year 2010, I would think that maybe we should have flying saucers and hovercraft vehicles and teleportation, but nothing..None of the above, All we get are crappy movies and games and celebrity gossip and all sorts of nonsense. So yeah, It's time for things to get the CHOP!

Windows vista, Aaaah poor thing, you were suppose to be the way of the future, With your super incompatability issues and ability to use up cpu resources to run at a normal rate, It's no wonder you were put to rest after only like 3/4 years or something. You wanna try out this new program?...nope it won't work. Wanna play this game or that game on it? nope. That's ok, i have my friend here with a few words.HASSAN CHOP!!!

Smokin' aces 2, Yep it's a sequel prequel or something..Whatever, This movie went straight to dvd which means it's crap. And boy is it ever! Poor vinnie jones, I give him credit, he'll make any movie sound good on paper and he can ham it up. but this story is so dumb it's more confusing and uninteresting than the first Smokin aces. And yeah, it's low budget with cgi explosions and cliche' slo' mo shootouts. I swear this couldve been a scifi channel exclusive.Hassan chop!

Celebrity gossip, I don't care, i dont caaare! Why would i need to know which celebrity is starving him/herself or someone broke up with someone else or sold/bought a new huge ass house or got a new facelift or wrecked their vehicle or got into rehab or got divorced or had a new baby or arrrghghgh!! Oh wait. Lindsey lohan is in trouble again. Say hello to my little friend. HASSAN CHOP!

Dark void, Good premise, Some guy flies around in a jetpack destroying flying vehicles and on the ground he shoots it out with aliens, But when you actually play, you will spend a great deal of time crashing into things and moving the mouse in all directions just to gain control of the damn jetpack, the ground levels are quite boring, with ho' hum run and gun action. I tried to like this, i really did, And if you have a trackball mouse....FAIL. I would rather just watch The rocketeer. And for that... Hassan chop!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Frank millaaarrrghghg!!

I love Frank miller as well as his artwork, his stories and movie adaptions. He has been praised by all, One time i even walked up to him at a comic convention to get his autograph. So i can say, I am a huge fan of his work. I can't possibly list all the books he has done and yeah, I might have missed a series or two but his transition to hollywood can be easily followed. So here are the list of movies he has done or had been involved in.

Ah well, The first robocop was a hoot and this one tries to follow in it's suit, While the special effects were pretty darn good the story is a jumbled mess, Ultra violence and a killer 12 year old will make you shake your head in disbelief with such an inept storyline, But whatever, This movie came out in 1990 so there's an excuse, But frank miller wrote this in his heyday so...ummm, what's your excuse dude?

What's not to say about this one, Straight out of the Sin city comic series comes this film, And man whas everyone blown away. With three stories going on at once we are immersed into a world of black and white film noir with little splashes of red, Amazing triumph for all involved.

Ah man, 300 is something to behold, It's basically a story about the spartan army holding down the fort until they are all killed. ummm, yeah. it supposedly happened. But the sick visuals and hyped action set pieces makes this one memorable. A definite watch.

The Spirit, What the hell? Ok this is what happens when you have too many eggs in one basket, one will eventually fall over. and boy is this movie it. Going back to the style of sin city we have the black and white thing, The one liners, The dames, The guns, and all that good stuff, But the script is so bad and umbelieveable that if you can actually sit thru this i swear i'll give you $50 bucks, An all star cast can't save this movie, I'm upset that i can't watch this in it's entirety and i have a feeling alot of people out there can't either. Don't bother man. This movie sucks balls..

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Things that i love to hate

There are things that make me so angry that it needs no further explanation. So here goes.....

Really good Group/Band breakups
It happens all the time, bands break up all the time for whatever reason, creative purposes, solo deals, no budget, tension within the group, 100 other reasons, It's a real shame, Some good bands have broken up but why on earth are we left with the bad ones who never seem to disappear? It's eddie vedder!.....ummm. i mean....umm...yeah..whatever.

The "Movies" movies
Meet the spartans, Date movie, Epic movie, Disaster movie,Dance movie, Blah blah the list goes on, I can't sit thru any of these so called movies. Please stop for everyone's sake, They have absolutely 0 comedic tones, It's just further evidence that today's culture is made out of boobies and fart jokes. I need to go to hollywood and punch people in the face.

Face lifts and implants
I will never understand the fascination with cosmetic surgery, It makes you look crazy, unreal and downright atrocious, everything from ridiculous boob jobs to callogen shots to the lips. How can anyone find that attractive, Why would you spend thousands to look like that? Everyone knows man, you are fucking ugly...Oh wait, i think i might have found your twin..

Who says you can't reunite loved ones on Blogspot?

Extras on dvd's
I could understand if you were a super fan of a particular film and you absolutely need to watch the extras but damn, There's extras on EVERY dvd out there, Your life has reached 0 status if you just need a hankerin' to watch the extras from the movie Gigli.You sick bastard,you know you have..

Cell phone usage
I know it's become a way of life, But some people break the general etiquette of cell phone usage, They talk too damn loud! I don't want to know your business, You must know other people can hear you, It's not important to anyone how you can't pay your rent.

Abuse of the english language
I know it's totally unavoidable to say something in slang or words that have become cliche', and yes, sometimes i blurt them out. But it seems that some words are so excruciating to hear that it makes me cringe.
Here's the list of things that make me want to drop kick someone to hell.

wanna get some noms (it means eat)
Today's economy
And last but not least.....Apps.

The coupon lady
Cmon old lady, your holding up the entire line, Ok, I get it, I know you can save a friggin dime on a box of tampons when you spent 5 dollars on gas to come down to purchase it. Whatta deal!

I hate you all....

Monday, January 4, 2010

Oh damn

I recently read an article about the Micronauts movie in the works by JJ abrams, If this is true, I think i'm gonna Man i love The micronauts..

Read the article here