Monday, November 29, 2010

The year the earth suuucked!

I don't know how the term was made but here in my honest opinion is the worst movie turkeys this year.(Trust me it wasn't a good experience)

Sex and the city 2
Ah man, what can i say, I took one for the team and saw this with zero expectations and boy did i get just that. Quick recap. Shallow story about ugly shallow people getting into unheard of situations, Oh wait its a movie. My bad.

Piranha 3-dBringing back a time when sex and violence was absolute king. You don't need a plot if you have a movie based of piranha fish looking for its next meal, Thats what it's suppose to do. But i do give some sort of credit, It's got gore to the fullest and a stab at America's mind numbing alcohol filled no holds barred morally challenged youth. And 3-d boobies...

Jonah hexOk, I never ever got into the whole Jonah hex comic book thing back in the day, So i didn't know what to expect. But man is this movie fucking horrible. I couldn't get past the bad acting and one liners, I kept looking around for a Smith and Wesson ol' timey pistol and do myself in. How long did my viewing last? about 30 minutes before i started to dream of something better. Oh yeah megan fox is in it. You still can't sprinkle gold on dogshit. It's not right.

The losersYay! it's the A-team! fuck my bad it's The losers and i never heard of it, Umm yeah it was a comic too? I never heard of that. Fuck i never heard anything about it and after watching it i wish i could go back to not knowing anything about it. Truly forgettable.

RedTalk about hype. all hype, Bruce willis, Morgan freeman, John blah blah blah blah blah. The premise could have worked but man, The movie drags along to the point of not caring who betrayed who and who did what.. Ah christ, I don't even know what the story is about. And all this hype surrounding this film claiming it's the best thing since god know what, I don't see it man, I don't see it, This is definitely one of those movies that fall into the category of "Why the fuck did Get shorty win best comedy at the awards"

Moby dick 2010
Ok if you would have told me 20 years ago that the singer Tiffany would be in a movie about Moby dick in the year 2010 i would have been amazed, It's 2010 and the word amazed can't be combined with this movie in any way, Everything in it is cgi and i'm saying that with dignity, The effects are so bad that i couldn't even fathom as to why this thing was made, Who greenlit this project? I know how this all went down man... i know..., In a basement somewhere... *SON* "Mom!" I just made this movie using nothing but that Fisher price My first animation program you bought me, Can you give it to my favorite uncle who happens to run a movie studio?" **MOM* Awww son, i didn't even see it and i know it's perfect, I love you"

Oh my bad, Tiffany wasn't in that movie, She was in this...

Mega piranhaWhen the movie poster has better effects than the actual movie you know you're in trouble. These movies shouldn't possibly exist at this day and age. I truly wished for the piranhas from the 3-d version to eat everyone in this one. Possibly 3 minutes into the opening credits.

Happy holidays everyone!!!

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