Sunday, November 14, 2010

I have a pet named peeve, and he wants to bite you in the ass.

Unfortunately we all have to deal with the fact that things are the way they are and no matter what i simply can't avoid the cosmic powers of scenarios that drive me crazy... Enjoy.

High priced sneakersYou just spent a few hundred on a pair of sneakers only to step on dogshit. Next time just give me a fifty so i can punch you in the face.

Cellphone upgradesOk, So you bought a new cell phone, And 3 months later you buy another cell phone to replace the last cellphone because the megapixel is 3 mb more. Congratulations, You're part of the idiot club.

BluetoothEveryone who speaks on a bluetooth usually looks and sounds too serious to ignore. But of course you would too if your're giving an excuse as to why you havent paid your rent. Yep, Living the Star trek dream.

Fanny packsYes, The fashion statement for every person who are simply too lazy to stick their wallet in their pants. And oh yeah it's not a girdle dude. For the 45 and only crowd please.

Using different venacularOk so you want a coffee somewhere but you can't tell what size you need because guess what. You don't speak any language other than english. The trend is so stupid, Fuck it i'm gonna open up my own shop and just name shit that doesn't even make sense. Do you want a rat ball pastry with hot anal fudge? Sold!.

Elderly lottery winnersHere's how it works. If you are ages 1 thru 50 you will never win. But if you are over the age of 75 and own 2 houses then it's in the bag baby! Instant winner. Here for you to enjoy is the usual timeline of said event.

6 months later

And a will testinony laterOf course it's for the cat. Duh!

No comments: