From Awesome to @$$

It's a 50/50 split when it comes to sequels. Some are actually as good as the first while some have reached the point of ridiculousness. It's a shame that i had to sit thru countless sequels because i love movies so much, So here are some horrible ones i've tried to sit thru before breaking down.(except for Halloween 3).



Highlander 2I was waiting for this one and damn this movie blew chunks. I didn't understand it when it came out, I don't understand it now, Ok, Cortez is back somehow when he was killed in the first movie and now are aliens from another planet, There's no ozone layer and some evil corporation plot thrown in for good measure, Gone is the sense of logic, it looks like random excuses were thrown in to fill the plot holes. If you sit thru this whole movie you will pull your eyes out. There should have been only one.



Halloween 3, Season of the witchI'm not gonna lie The theme song was creepy! But anyway, what the hell happened with this movie. No meyers in sight, Just some wacky plot about mass producing masks with lasers installed in them that would zap your head to mush and make bugs and snakes come out of you. And it's all set to go off during a halloween commercial! Get it? Halloween..Get it? Boink!




Star wars ep.1Jar jar binks.....Can i punch you in the face?




Jaws 4 the revengeHow can a shark actually follow a family across the globe, I don't care how much you explain it, That's not possible. Sometimes i can't even find my keys in my own apartment. Oh yeah and he roared at the end which is impossible, Fuck sharkie!




Friday the 13th, Jason takes manhattanSo Jason stows away on a boat and ends up in huge ass Manhattan, He ends up finding his intended targets and killing them once again, In huge ass manhattan. But wait, Manhattan looks so clean and there's no rats or even people walking around, it's totally desolate. Has anyone in the film crew ever been to New york city?




Lost boys 2 The tribeWhaaaat? ok, There's a bunch of young vampires walking around and acting like complete idiots with one holding a camera. You will not remember any of the characters in this movie, There's is no build up of suspense or any mystery or suprise conclusion, Just a pure confusing mess, And the surviving frog brother was put in there to link the two movies together, I will not even go into depth with the plot, Trust me, You will not care! Why would they even mention a superior movie (The goonies) that was released almost 20 years ago in this god aweful tripe of crap. If this movie is a metaphor for today's youth it means they all have A.d.d. Fuck you.


AND NOW FOR THE WORST...


Creepshow 3Cripes is this movie bad! Please don't rent, borrow, buy or steal this movie. For anyone who hasn't seen any Creepshow movie here's the scoop, It basically a movie made up of about 3 or 4 short horror stories to make up a complete package, People in Hollywood have way too much money to actually blow a few mil and come up with this result, The stories make no sense and are intertwined ala Pulp fiction, The sets and actors are reused again and again, The acting is horrible, Please make this nightmare end. Just imagine every scene with terribly bad actors acting badly.


The ending scene with a demonic hot dog vendor overlooking the whole story goes full cgi and god is it aweful...Suck it!

Jaws aka My biggest fear.

My folks big movie buffs, Every chance we got we'd go and watch whatever had come out at the time, It wasn't difficult to pick a movie since releases were very limited at the time (1970's). I've seen the commercial, Was kind of hesitant to go, but i was young and had no say, So we went off to see it. I was so miniscule and the screen so big, I watched as a young woman decided to take a dip, and then the song played. Baaadum Baaadum. I blame this on my parents..


I was terrified, I was so scared i covered my eyes. I opened them every once in a while when i heard normal music and people talking. when it was all over i wasn't a happy camper, It induced nightmares, I grew out of it but i never grew out of my fear of sharks. The only way i could ever overcome is if i actually killed a shark with my own hands and then woke up from fainting afterwards. I hate you shark.




If this ever happened to me i'll just swim into the shark's mouth and get it over with....

Random comic titles that soothed my soul.

Who didn't love comic books growing up? I lived and breathed comics for a long time and i always had my favorites, Comic books were one of my forms of escapism from everyday life. I knew names, Origins, The whole 9, So here's my random favorite comic book heroes, Villians and titles.


5.The nam'No, i'm not a veteran, But i was a sucker for war movies and books, This one gave us kiddies a chance to read about the war in our language, A non bloody, no cussin', cartoonish depiction of a real disasterous war which was The Vietnam war. All for 75 cents.


4.LoboA staple of 80/90's comic book violence, The main man killed first and asked questions later, He always chomped cigars, Drank alcohol, Banged women and cursed more than a sailor. My ultimate role model, You couldn't ask for anything more in a book. The ultimate guide to being a badass.


3.Justice leagueBack when comics were simple, Dc comics decided to relaunch the justice league and boy did it work, Cutting away from the early 80's robotic form this new team had a fairly loose crew that fought, dated and fought more among themselves than the villians. Could be perceived as "The real world" of comics. This was a genius move by all parties involved. I had it's entire run and stopped collecting after it was changed again and again, bleh!


2.NamorI wasn't a big namor fan until Marvel comics decided to give him a more dark and sinister look which was perfect for my taste, And on top of that it featured Iron fist? I was in comic geek heaven. The artist (Jae lee) was awesome and i considered him an influence towards my artwork. After a quick run thru the series the book went back to the crapper. Hence me moving on to other titles.


1.Grendel.How can i ever forget Grendel. It had a cult following and never gained anything more than an independent status, And a one shot deal with Batman. Grendel characters change all the time, But the one i remember most was the 12 issue series by the Pander bros featuring really colorful bloody artwork.


SPECIAL MENTION


Rorshach(watchmen)An awesome character, Cold, Calculated and maniacal, He never bathed and kicked ass. I'm not riding The watchmen wagon here (The movie is coming out this year), This book has been out since the 80's.

The death of strangers

In it's heyday, Grunge music was on the top of it's form, Countless musicians had come struggling across as the next big act while some basked in the spotlight with ease. Soundgarden, Nirvana, Pearl jam, Alice in chains and Red hot chili peppers ruled the airwaves, It didn't seem like it was ever going to end, Hit after hit, band after band, The songs kept coming, And at it's grunge peak, At the very top it all came crumbling down. The death of Kurt cobain, Yes i was affected, Even people who didn't like the genre were talking about it, How can it happen, Why, who, when, what, It doesn't matter. it's done, it's over, The person who spoke for a generation is gone, The 90's version of john lennon, I never understood anything he said, Maybe he wasn't speaking to me, But in a way i understood something. I layed on the grass in a park and wondered why the world was unfair. I don't have that luxury anymore, not like i used to. That event changed my perception entirely, And maybe it changed everyone's perception, Never to hold on to a person, Especially a stranger. I would never hold an emotion like that ever again.




Some odd years later a similar fate occured, This time around it was Layne staley, Alice in chains frontman, The same person who was at the top of his game in the 90's grunge era, Another voice of a generation, A person who never wanted to pass his vices to anyone. In a way he warned people throughout his music. A person who had a worst fate than death, a recluse drug addict who layed dead for a week before anyone bothered to look. This time around, No one cared. No media coverage, No mural, No radio special or tribute describing his life. Nothing. Was this a sign that the world has indeed changed, And in some weird subconscious felt the same way as myself. Is life that short that everyone worries about themselves and never take the time out to give a nod. Or are we just moving along for the next big thing and not looking back to see what we left behind. R.I.P 1967 - 2002

Totally random movie review

The crow, City of angels (click on image to read)

The audio/video awesomeness of the 80's

Ok, I was a big tech freak, I used to take things apart and tinker around, I've actually been shocked before trying to fix a tv when i was 10 or so. Throughout the years i've had a variety of things, from videogame consoles, tv sets to walkmans. These are the items i could not live without. I didn't have everything, but what i had i enjoyed.



5.Portable record playerI had a ton of 45" records that i used to play on this, it had one speaker for sound and it was non stereo, I remember playing The beatles and some Sesame street on it.(so weird)


4.Toploader vcrwhen my parents bought this it was unforgettable, I couldn't fathom the thought of playing movies in your home on a tape (i was naive). We had rented a few movies and all our friends and family came over to watch it, The three movies were, The warriors, The Exorcist and ummm...oh damn , I dont remember. The remote control had a cable that was only about 3 or 4 ft so it didn't make sense to use it.



3.Cb radio I got one for christmas and i loved it, A few of my friends had walkie talkies and we used to talk to each other late at night when everyone went home. Sometimes we'd pick up phone conversations and were able to answer back and the hilarity insued. Good times man, what's your handle good buddy?


2.boombox with tvDid we have to beg for this? Hell yeah, What could be more awesome than having a dual tape player boombox with a tv built in? Nothing! This thing lasted forever until i blew half of the radio trying to fix it (let me see if my theory is correct) My brother knows what i'm talking about, lol. Anyway, The finest memory i have is when my brother actually had gotten robbed for the boombox and we had sent the biggest guy we knew to get it back and he did!


1!!8 Track playerOk, I grew up listening to music, alot of it, The 8 track was one of my parent's favorite, A vast majority of 8 track tapes we had were actually in spanish. I didn't have a problem with that since i understood it, Knowing multiple languages rule. I remember at the very end of the 8 track's cycle i used to record songs off the radio and just like that it disappeared into obscurity.

Weird @$$ shows they only showed at 6 a.m or Why are you up so early?

Monday through friday was school time but on the weekends i used to get up early in the morning just waiting for the cartoon rush to come on, but before the good stuff you'd had to sit through the weird shows, The ones that didn't make sense at 6 a.m because you was always half asleep, My drive to watch awesome cartoons made me survive the horror which was 6 to 8 a.m . Only 2 hours to go and it's on baby! wait....zzzz..ummm yeah. 2 hours!! Christ this sucks....zzzzz...



1.Great space coasterIt was basically a muppet show, i only remember gary gnu because he always read the so called news and the theme song was infectious. I have no life.




2.Hot fudgeNo one remembers this, It was yet another muppet show but a bit weirder, I liked this show but i don't remember any of the characters. i just remember the title and theme song. Ain't i useful?




3.New zoo reviewHoly sh*t, This reminds me of the sun coming up. I remember some of these characters, Henrietta hippo and Freddy the frog, Oh jeez, This is troubling. The madness has kicked in.




4.David and goliathWhat a way to pimp religion on a sunday by having clay figures show you right from wrong at 6 a.m, I always thought talking dogs were the work of the devil, and the show started at 6? hmmm.. where were the other 2 six's. Someone was trying to tell me something..




5.GumbyIt's no secret why they gave this a 6 a.m slot, Because no one gave a damn about Gumby! This show always transformed me into a snoreasaurus rex. zzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!

The awesome gift of giving or cool sh*t i got as a gift

Ok, If you read my last post then here's the other 50%. The good stuff, The best of the best, the unforgettable things I've gotten as a kid, This is what being a kid was all about, I won't put the obvious stuff like video games, bikes and remote control cars, because those are always cool. I'll just keep it at 5 or this list would go on forever, These are just the ones i actually enjoyed the most.


5.Evel KnievelOh man, you revved this sucker up and off it went, jumping ramps and everything. This is a man's man world dammit! arrghgh!


4.SuckermanOK, so you throw this thing on walls and windows and he'd stick only because it's whole body is covered with suction cups, Threw it to the ceiling? OK, just wait a half hour, it'll come back down. I actually had gotten curious to see how it would look with no cups and cut off all the suctions with a razor. Poor thing.


3.Tabletop PacmanYes!!! You can put this in your backpack and play it whenever you wanted to, awesome! Oh wait, the battery life sucked..And no adapter. Bleh!


2.Big wheelsI will run you over, your mother, your father, your dog, your hamster, your whole family!!! Booyaaa!


1!!.Shogun warriorsWhen i received this, My brother and i screamed for joy. These things were 2 to 3 feet tall and shot out missiles! I love you shogun warriors!!


HONORABLE MENTION


MicronautsI had a weird obsession with Micronauts, My favorite was Acroyear. I wonder why they never got any recognition?


SUPER HONORABLE MENTION


Epoch man!!!This was a pacman rip off but it was fun to play, I actually played it in the middle of church mass on sundays (i had no soul). My friend also had one and we used to play it to death. Didn't think i'd remember Epoc man.

Happy birthday! bleeech!

I loved my childhood birthday parties, all of my little friends and family would come over and party away practically all night long, i was born in the summer so it was always hot, I couldn't complain, my parents did the best they could for me, When it came time for my presents there was a 50/50 shot that i actually got something i wanted, Back then you could count how many toys came out in the past 6 months on one hand. But not matter what, i found myself with the same presents year after year, so here is the top 5 presents i've always received.

1.Hungry hungry hippos This game is super fun when you have siblings or friends willing to play at the same time, it was always so noisy and the fun lasted for about 15 minutes before the super boredom set in.


2.Etch and sketch I hated this, I wasn't into art so i could never draw anything except squiggly penises and breasts, This game or whatever you want to call it was never any fun, just a frustrating mess. Pass.


3.Spirograph Ok, so you just put the round thing in there and make circles. Woweee, I remember recieving this as a gift and i gave it back because i had 2 sets already. Aarrghgh!


4.Stratego Call me stupid, But i never conjured up a thought of winning a strategy battle at the age of 8, I didn't know what to do with the pieces, i couldn't understand it, I just took the pieces and ran them over with my remote control car. What a mess..


LAST BUT NOT LEAST


5.Clackers Ok here's a thought, Give a small child a toy made out of two small hard plastic balls held by strings, Yes! the possibilites of getting injured are endless! Wow was this thing loud, you couldn't play with it in the house, and if you were unfortunate enough to get one in the winter you had to freeze your ass outside. on a good note if you hated your friends you could just hit them with it. I had several of these and i always had black and blues on my arm, Thank you genius toy makers!


HONORABLE MENTION


Mr PotatoheadWhat? how can i not hate this. I'd lose the pieces in about 1 day, I never saw the fun in changing faces on a friggin potato, and none of which made him/her look any better. A toy strictly for psychos. And i had this when he used to have a smoking pipe. What where they thinking?

Legend of the Overfiend

I used to frequent comic book conventions with my friends in Manhattan, Every time we would go we'd get autographs from artists and writers, we also bought memorabilia and movies, I was a big fan of anime (it was pretty new in the states) and American cartoons (ren and stimpy) and so on. I had owned a couple of jap anime like Vampire hunter d, Akira, Fist of the north star. At one convention i had purchased a VHS tape with the title Legend of the Overfiend, I've never heard of it, but i took my chances, Once i got home i got some dinner, sat down in my living room with my brother and popped in the tape, (the following was my reaction)Oh, nice animation, Dude the action scenes are off the meter. Oh damn there's alot of naked cartoon women running around, Awesome a big demon just appeared from nowhere, ummm. what is that a tentacle? wait that's not a tentacle that's a ..umm...wait there's 20 tentacle thingies....oh wait, what is he doing to that woman...Oh shit...every hole?
What the hell did i buy?


Welcome to the world of Hentai..I had unwillingly bought a "hentai" movie, we laughed at the notion that whoever made such a cartoon must be nuts. There was enough flying genitalia and violent sex scenes to fill half the planet, I was amazed and repulsed. To gonna be honest, i actually enjoyed the story and actually purchased the other parts to the series, i never got into the whole hentai thing which is good, i never saw any other hentai cartoon till this day, One porn cartoon series was good enough for me, Thanks.

The artist formally known as

I couldn't draw for the life of me, I wasn't artistic as a kid, I don't have any scribble art laying around from when i was a kid because i never did any, I had hobbies but art was not one of them, When i was in high school i actually failed my art course, i didn't know how to put 2 lines together to save my life, In my teens i was going thru changes, which is normal, I needed an output and i started doodling,Trying to think of things to draw, my friends were artists and they gave me that push to keep it up, my drawings were aweful, i give my friends credit, they supported me all the way even thought my art sucked,Oh damn, my art was so bad, just take a look.Suckage..



I tried so hard but to no avail, maybe because i never had lessons, My art wasn't getting better, I had a bad break up from a relationship and everything changed (i was 20 at the time), I started to paint and draw, everything came out pretty solid, It was suprising to me because it was a night and day difference, I'm not ever going to say i'm the best or even good, but it helped me out. I won't post a ton of drawings but i'll just put the latest one.all of my other artwork can be seen here.



And now for the artist formally known asThe title doesn't lie!!

My first comic book.

I was only 6 years old at the time,We had gone to this rinky dink book/comic store in Brooklyn, I clearly remember the place being extremely small with tons of long comic and magazine boxes on shelves. It smelled like cigars and the owner was this grumpy old fella, After looking around a bit i saw something that caught the attention of my brother and i, I begged my mother and after displaying my puppy dog eye routine she gave in. I was so excited, i stared at it while going home, i couldn't wait to get there so i can take my time and read the entire book, Should i show it to you? Your not ready for the badass 70's style...What can be better than a jive talkin' dude and an ass kicking karate master? NOTHING! I went nuts, I read this comic till no end, i jive talked and karate chopped my bunk bed and twin brother. I was iron fist! Haaaeeeiiiiaaaa!!!!

As the years went on i became a comic book collector, I loved the world i had built for myself, so many stories and amazing artwork, It was rare to have missed an issue of anything back then,i read everything. Marvel comics, DC comics, Independent comics, In my 20's i actually worked in a comic book store, which to me was the best job i ever had, But times have changed now, I no longer read comics, The market has become flooded with books, it's insane that kids don't even read comic books, every time i happen to be in a comic book shop it's all adults walking around, But i don't blame them, the majority of comics are actually aimed at adults, so the Sock! Bam! Pow! days are practically over. I read some every once in a while, but that spark has long gone, it's a shame, Because reading comics was something i used to cherish so much.

Brooklyn's in the house represent, represent.

I love rap music, in fact i can go as far back as 79' with the sugar hill gang vinyl lp, The eighties had it's slew of rappers which can be labeled pioneers, just pick one, everyone had something to say, Rap music was the new thing and it was only around for 4 years before it became mainstream, Breakdancing came about (myself being a breakdancer and b-boy) and electro wasn't far behind, everything was progressing smoothly, But as the 80's grew to a close everyone in hip hop was waiting for the next new thing. it seemed like the 80's rappers were stuck in a time zone, some never emerged from it, some actually made whole careers afterwards, Back then things were simple, there wasn't a flash flood of albums, it was easier to anticipate any type of album without being sidetracked by 15 others. The year was 1990 and i had gone to a music store called Musique back in brooklyn. I had a choice as to which 2 albums to buy, Twin hype or A tribe called quest. I already had a twin hype single but i never heard a tribe track yet, So i grabbed Twin hype, After i came back home i listened to the album for about 10 minutes and my brother suggested i'd take that piece of sh*t back and get A tribe called quest. I went back and adamantly got The tribe album, One of the best decisions i made regarding music.

"Push It Along" – 7:42
"Luck of Lucien" (featuring Lucien Revolucien) – 4:32
"After Hours" – 4:39
"Footprints" – 4:00
"I Left My Wallet in El Segundo" – 4:06
"Pubic Enemy" (featuring DJ Red Alert) – 3:45
"Bonita Applebum" – 3:50
"Can I Kick It?" – 4:11
"Youthful Expression" – 4:52
"Rhythm (Devoted to the Art of Moving Butts)" – 4:01
"Mr. Muhammad" – 3:33
"Ham 'n' Eggs" – 5:27
"Go Ahead in the Rain" – 3:54
"Description of a Fool" – 5:41

I couldn't believe what i was hearing, no corny beats or ridiculous rhymes, The tracks were laid back and very conscious, The Bonita applebum track blew my mind, The whole album is listenable without you letting out a groan. While there were other rap groups to grasp the afrocentric conscious rap wave only a few actually paved the way throughout the years. After a 5 album run the group decided to called it quits. This was in the span of about 8 years. Afterwards the key members released solo albums which were quite disappointing, It just showed how times have changed, No one really cared for it anymore, It's easy to get swept under the rug when there's 20 albums being released per month, It was good while it lasted, A tribe called quest will always have a fan.