Monday, August 25, 2008

From Awesome to @$$

It's a 50/50 split when it comes to sequels. Some are actually as good as the first while some have reached the point of ridiculousness. It's a shame that i had to sit thru countless sequels because i love movies so much, So here are some horrible ones i've tried to sit thru before breaking down.(except for Halloween 3).

Highlander 2I was waiting for this one and damn this movie blew chunks. I didn't understand it when it came out, I don't understand it now, Ok, Cortez is back somehow when he was killed in the first movie and now are aliens from another planet, There's no ozone layer and some evil corporation plot thrown in for good measure, Gone is the sense of logic, it looks like random excuses were thrown in to fill the plot holes. If you sit thru this whole movie you will pull your eyes out. There should have been only one.

Halloween 3, Season of the witchI'm not gonna lie The theme song was creepy! But anyway, what the hell happened with this movie. No meyers in sight, Just some wacky plot about mass producing masks with lasers installed in them that would zap your head to mush and make bugs and snakes come out of you. And it's all set to go off during a halloween commercial! Get it? Halloween..Get it? Boink!

Star wars ep.1Jar jar binks.....Can i punch you in the face?

Jaws 4 the revengeHow can a shark actually follow a family across the globe, I don't care how much you explain it, That's not possible. Sometimes i can't even find my keys in my own apartment. Oh yeah and he roared at the end which is impossible, Fuck sharkie!

Friday the 13th, Jason takes manhattanSo Jason stows away on a boat and ends up in huge ass Manhattan, He ends up finding his intended targets and killing them once again, In huge ass manhattan. But wait, Manhattan looks so clean and there's no rats or even people walking around, it's totally desolate. Has anyone in the film crew ever been to New york city?

Lost boys 2 The tribeWhaaaat? ok, There's a bunch of young vampires walking around and acting like complete idiots with one holding a camera. You will not remember any of the characters in this movie, There's is no build up of suspense or any mystery or suprise conclusion, Just a pure confusing mess, And the surviving frog brother was put in there to link the two movies together, I will not even go into depth with the plot, Trust me, You will not care! Why would they even mention a superior movie (The goonies) that was released almost 20 years ago in this god aweful tripe of crap. If this movie is a metaphor for today's youth it means they all have A.d.d. Fuck you.


Creepshow 3Cripes is this movie bad! Please don't rent, borrow, buy or steal this movie. For anyone who hasn't seen any Creepshow movie here's the scoop, It basically a movie made up of about 3 or 4 short horror stories to make up a complete package, People in Hollywood have way too much money to actually blow a few mil and come up with this result, The stories make no sense and are intertwined ala Pulp fiction, The sets and actors are reused again and again, The acting is horrible, Please make this nightmare end. Just imagine every scene with terribly bad actors acting badly.

The ending scene with a demonic hot dog vendor overlooking the whole story goes full cgi and god is it aweful...Suck it!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

yeah, i remember halloween 3, terrible...that damned tune that went something like , too, too too too too too too, yap yap yap yap HALlOWEEN!, HALLOWEEN!, HALLOWEEN!
yap yap yap yap halloween!! blah blah shamrock! i swear i felt like pulling out a clown hammer and beating the shit out of anyone 2 feet near me, you actually didnt need to have a mask on to be annoyed as turd